well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
