She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
