Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
