the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
