no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
