I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
