I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
