I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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