If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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