but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
