meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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