THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
