I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize