I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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