Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize