She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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