On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
