Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
