Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
