and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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