Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
