Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize