Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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