I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
These tits shall not be calmed
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
