I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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