He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
