Acid is not a monday night drug
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
