I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize