i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize