You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
