so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
