My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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