You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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