Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
