Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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