and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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