I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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