that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
