don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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