Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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