been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
