Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize