I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
She's JV to your varsity
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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