What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
