you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
