He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
