Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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