They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
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