i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Boobs are out for the taking
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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