Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Randomize
