I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
