I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
