Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
