yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
