I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
