Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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