She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Found your dick twin last night
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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