I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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