At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
