im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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